15 Reasons to (Not?) Date a Lawyer.

I have seen this article floating around Facebook for the past week and I laugh every time I read it...

Here's the link: http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/15-reasons-to-date-a-lawyer/#.UheVORu-2uK

As the URL suggests, it's a list of 15 reasons to date a lawyer. The thing is, if you're in law school, an attorney, or have even like...met an attorney, you know why this list cracks me up. Here's my take on their list. I also had help from my husband, who had some interesting things to say based on our marriage ;)

Reason 1: Quoting your date will make you sound smarter: “My boyfriend is a lawyer and he says…”

This is true if you don't care about keeping your friends, I guess. "My boyfriend is a lawyer and he says..." Oh really? My hand says it would like to smack you -_-

Reason 2:Your mom and dad will be impressed. Plus: A lawyer in the family is always a good thing!

This one is probably true in the majority of situations. Unless your attorney boyfriend is a Democrat and likes to start lawyer-y arguments with your Republican father at family functions...Merry Christmas!

Reason 3: Most lawyers are fantastic dressers. (Yes, there’s more than one suit in his/her closet.)

I will say that most attorneys who are in court often will know how to present themselves. That being said, just because a guy wears a suit doesn't necessarily mean he is a fantastic dresser. I have seen some pretty ill-fitting corduroy suits in my lifetime. Also, when I was in court over the summer, one of the female attorneys was wearing a velour "suit" with sparkly applique flowers and shoulder pads the size of Texas. I would not put her in the "fantastic dresser" category :)

Reason 4: Lawyers are financially secure.

THIS. Who wrote this article?! I should find them and show them the stack of student loan paperwork I have. Once an attorney pays off his or her debt (which for some takes 30 years) THEN they're more secure. I would venture to say though that most of us graduating next year will be eating a decent amount of ramen for the first year or two in the field ha.

Reason 5: Lawyers know how to present themselves well – and up the charm. Your date will likely make a great impression with your friends and colleagues.

This is probably true if your "date" is a litigator. If he's behind a desk doing tax stuff all day it won't necessarily be true. Also, I feel like "upping the charm" is not always a good thing. We've all had boyfriends or girlfriends who knew exactly what to say even if it wasn't true haha.

Reason 6: Your date will stand up for you, even when you’re wrong.

Or your date will argue with you by applying rules and analogous situations...

Reason 7: Lawyers are often invited to interesting social events. Most of them include an open bar.

This varies wildly. I'm aiming to work for the government when I graduate next year and there will be nothing with an open bar ever. Unless unlimited water counts. Any attorney who works for a nonprofit, the government, or a smaller (even some mid-size) firm will not attend fancy schmancy shindigs all that often haha.

Reason 8: Lawyers are very experienced negotiators and excel at conflict resolution.

Many lawyers often are excellent at creating conflict as well...

Reason 9: Like to debate? Your date is always up for that type of challenge.

Don't like to debate? TOO BAD. 

Reason 10: Lawyers have good memories – or at least good note-taking skills.

Because nothing is hotter than a date writing down your answers as you give them. Where you grew up will be forever memorialized in a legal pad in terrible handwriting. Probably with abbreviations that only he or she can understand. Also, do you really want your S/O to have a good memory of everything you've done wrong?! Let the score taking commence!

Reason 11: Speaking of note-taking, there will be plenty of free legal pads lying around.

"Oh honey, I knew you were the one when I saw how many legal pads you had in your apartment." Also, who said the legal pads were free?! If someone stole my notebooks I would not continue that relationship for much longer...

Reason 12:  Your date will have interesting law-school stories (and lots of life experience). As a general rule, lawyers work hard and play hard.

Oh, I have lots of law school stories, but ask my husband if they're all interesting. My guess would be nope. And after working hard, my version of "playing hard" is changing into yoga pants and sipping wine while watching Law & Order. It's pretty wild.

Reason 13: Lawyers are eloquent, articulate and very insightful when it comes to reading another person’s character.

Yeps, many attorneys can read a person like a book... which involves spotting flaws miles away. Isn't that what you want? Just wait for your first fight because they can eloquently and very articulately tell you what your character flaws are. So romantic.

Reason 14: Eloquence is sexy. So are briefcases.

Not all attorneys are eloquent nor do they all carry briefcases. 

Reason 15: If you ever need your partner’s services, he/she will work especially hard for you.

...unless you break up, and then it will be very possible that he will use his "services" to make sure your life is a living hell (within the Rules of Professional Conduct, of course).

All snarkiness aside, I realize (or at least hope) that this was intended to be a humorous list. I just think it's interesting that the author tries to lump all attorneys in together when the personalities and jobs of attorneys vary wildly haha. As for me, since I'll likely end up at a nonprofit or other public service position, much of this list will not apply! :)