Don't Judge a Book by its Cover, or a Child by Her File

"Problem with authority, emotionally needy, controlling, moody."

Madalyn's (name changed) file is full of negative things to say about her. Her sister Audrey's (name changed) file is not much better:

"Emotionally volatile, throws tantrums, destroys property."

Madalyn and Audrey are two of the dozens of foster sisters I've had in the last several years. They both have files that travel around the foster system with them, outlining all of their transgressions and other "relevant" history.

Madalyn and Audrey's files make them seem like horrible, hopeless, volatile little girls. What I know about them could not be further from the truth.

Madalyn is creative, loves to sing, and is very affectionate. While she sometimes is a space invader when it comes to hugs, I accept each one because I know all Madalyn wants to do is love and be loved. Yes, she can be dramatic, but this helped her orchestrate a "fashion show" with all of our other foster and permanent sisters, and other fun things! She's incredibly artistic, and made me the coolest pop-up card she proudly gave me on my birthday.

When I look at Audrey, I do not see an emotionally volatile little girl. I see a child who suffered such horrendous abuse that at her young age, she does not know what to do with all of the fear, sadness, and confusion that she feels. When Audrey does throw a fit, she emerges from her room soon after - crying, begging forgiveness, and telling our mom and dad she "doesn't know why" she behaved that way. I see a little girl who spoils my dog so much that he literally cries with excitement when he sees her, jumping up to lick her all over the face. Audrey is consistently the first one to ask one of our other sisters why she's sad and is one of the most compassionate children I've ever met.

The way I see my sisters is the way they truly are. Madalyn and Audrey are not the troubled, difficult children that their files portray them to be. Yes, they can be emotionally exhausting sometimes and generally require more help and guidance, but they are also beautiful little ones who have so much to offer this world. Every time I spend time with them I am in awe at the incredible young ladies they are turning out to be despite their first years being filled with abuse and instability.

These girls are more than the contents of their files, and shouldn't be judged based on what they contain. I am blessed to know them as the loving, hyper, and entertaining kids they are!